Yesterday we brought home our new Christmas tree, Sir Mudknuckles the 1st.
Sir Mudknuckles is a… unique tree. You see, he has devoted the better part of his life to protecting his Siamese Brother from the elements. We didn’t realize this until after we cut him down and saw that he was completely naked on one side. We decided that this was the most hilarious thing ever and decided to take him home anyway, despite his shortcomings. He is a special tree.
When we brought our newest addition home, we set right to work on decorating his naked body. (For some reason I didn’t manage to get a photo of his ugly side. I promise to turn him around at some point so you can marvel at his indecency.) While we decorated, I told the story of Christmas. Well, since I don’t know the story of Christmas since I was raised in a Jewish household, it was actually the story of a rad dude named Jesus who was going to hang out at his buddy, Kyle’s house, only to find out that Kyle was in trouble with the law. But don’t worry, Jesus bailed Kyle out of jail, like the pal he is.
We even let her put up her own special ornament! This is her namesake, Harley Quinn. They are both insane.
She sat under the tree on her little kitten butt and proceeded to grab the ornaments with both paws and pull on them until they fell off. We are assuming that she has dragged off most of these ornaments to her secret lair inside the bed. No, not under the bed, inside the bed. We know it is there because we can hear her moving around in there at night. She is like Kreacher. Harley is a special cat.
We did manage to get all the ornaments (we think) back up on our beautiful, strange, partially naked tree. Now it really feels like Christmas! In fact, it feels so much like Christmas that I desperately needed to make cookies. It has been all of three days since I have baked cookies. I was going through withdrawals!
Spiced Pie Crust Cookies
- 1 ½ Cups All Purpose Flour
- ¼ Teaspoon Salt
- 1/3 Cup Shortening
- 2 Tablespoons Warm Water, Or As Needed
- 1 Tablespoon Shortening
- ¼ Cup White Sugar
- 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
- Dash Ground Ginger
- 1/4 Teaspoon Pumpkin Pie Spice
- Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray, or line with parchment paper.
- Mix flour and salt together in a bowl, and use a pastry cutter to cut in 1/3 cup of shortening until the mixture forms pea-size balls. With a fork, form a small well in the center of the mixture, and pour in water, a couple of teaspoons at a time, and stir with the fork to mix in the water and form a dough. Incorporate each addition of water before adding the next, until about 3/4 of the flour mixture has formed a stiff dough. Work a little more water in with your hands, and shape the dough into a ball.
- Working on a well-floured work surface with a floured rolling pin, roll the dough out into a rectangle about 12 by 16 inches, and about 1/8-inch thick. Spread 1 tablespoon of shortening over the surface of the dough with a soft spatula, and sprinkle sugar all over the dough square. Sprinkle the dough with spices. Pick up a long edge of dough, and tightly roll the dough into a log shape. With a sharp knife, slice the log into 3/4-inch thick slices. Place the slices onto the prepared baking sheet.
- Bake in the preheated oven until the cookies are lightly browned and sizzling on the bottom, about 8 minutes. Cool on paper towels; freeze extras for later.
Now it is time to face the music: I need to study for finals. So goodbye weekend and goodbye life. At least for the next week. It’s time to buckle down, get my study on, and get those A’s!
How are you preparing for the holidays?
Tell me a happy Christmas story. A very long, happy Christmas story to distract me from my studying.
P.S. GO BEAVS!