1. Last summer, when I climbed Half Dome in Yosemite, I spent about 30 minutes at the base of the cables weeping in fear before I actually went up. Let it be said that you get excellent cell phone reception up there. All the better for crying to boyfriends.
2. When my sister and I were little, we would play a game called Humble Bunny. I don’t remember the exact premise, but I know that I was a bunny butler to my younger sister. I also had really bad hair, but I don’t think that had anything to do with the game.
3. I burp louder, more often, and honestly, just better, than Steve.
4. I have been known to lick butter off spoons. Yes, seriously. I love butter.
5. I naturally have a Jew-Fro. You have to go very far back to see anything even somewhat resembling my hair in its natural form because I am so good at taming it. Also, yes, those are my teeth before braces.
6. One time, my friend and I accidentely went to a gay bar in London. It took us about an hour to figure out why we were the only two girls there and no one would even look at us. We thought maybe we were just conceited.
7. This week I tried to steal this from Target before Steve stopped me:
It is a hat… for my future baby.
8. One time I ate half a banana creme pie at my friend’s house. Then I got sick in my car on my way home.
9. At bedtime, I still wear my retainer. Steve calls it my “headgear”, I call it my “I am too lazy to fix my tongue thrust (aka, my tongue pushes against my front teeth) so I would rather just wear this forever.”
10. I consider my cat to be one of my best friends.
And here it is. The thing everyone wanted to see. Ladies and gentlemen, the glory of the Turbie Twist:
Now that I have publicly shamed myself, I am going to go eat some cookies. Or maybe just some butter…