1. When it drops to 20° overnight, the roads get icy. Driving on ice is insanely scary. If you briefly lose control of your car, maintain your composure and try not to cry. *Note: Ice is not an excuse to stay home from school, unless you are my professor, then you are welcome to cancel class.
2. If your dog throws up everything he eats for 30 hours straight, you should probably take him to the vet. *Note: This will set you back a minimum of $400. That dog needs to start bringing an income in to the house…
3. If you put an effort in to how you look, boys will talk to you. They will ignore you when you say “Yeah, my boyfriend and I…” and then continue to shoot you the eye during class. *Note: Dear boys in my class, I am happily in a relationship, sorry. *Note #2: Why did it take until 21 years of age for random boys to start looking at me?
4. If a creepy man at the grocery store asks you if you are buying the chocolate in your hand for your boyfriend, you say yes. If you say no and he asks if it is for your husband, you should say yes. If for whatever reason you are still not catching on the fact that he is really creepy and you tell him that it is for food photography, he will likely ask you if you want to “meet at a restaurant sometime.” At this point, you should probably mumble something about needing to go to school and end up buying the wrong chocolate in an attempt to get out of there as quickly as possible. *Note: Now you have to go back to Safeway and get the right chocolate. Blurgh.
Am I exuding some sort of “I don’t have a boyfriend and I am looking to get some” vibe today? If so, it is completely unintentional. God forbid I wear something besides sweatpants and fleece out of the house!
I’m going to put my sweatpants back on, tell me when it’s Friday.